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Misc Joke
How to keep a healthy level of insanity
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses
on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow
down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3) Insist that your e-mail address is: Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com
or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.
4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they
want fries with that.
5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized
chair dancing.
6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone
has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual
favors.'
10) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what
you think."
11) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with
the prophecy."
12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness
level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that
you like it that way.
13) Dont use any punctuation
14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
15) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after
they answer.
16) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
17) Sing along at the opera.
18) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
19) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same
outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is
especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.)
20) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what
you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll
be in the bathroom, in Stall #3."
21) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape
of jungle sounds all day.
22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend
their party because you're not in the mood.
13) Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.
24) Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.
25) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name,
Rock Hard.
26) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!",
"I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
27) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking
lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
28) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head
that bother me, its the voices in your head that do."
29) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy,
we are going to have to let one of you go."
30) Every time you see a broom, yell "Honey, your mother
is here!"
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....
31) Send this joke to everyone in your address book, even
if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them
stuff like this.
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