home > jokes
> misc
jokes > employee time memo
Misc Joke
Employee time memo
It has come to our attention recently that many of you have
been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous
Unproductive Time" (Code 5309). To our Firm, unproductive
time isn't a problem. What is a problem, however, is not knowing
exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time.
Pursuant to our new billing system, attached below is a sheet
specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our
observations of employee activities. The list will allow you
to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing
during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job
code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties
you encounter.
Thank you.
The Management Committee
Attached:
Extended Job Code List
Code Number
Explanation
5316
Meeting
5317
Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5318
Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
5319
Waiting for Break
5320
Waiting for Lunch
5321
Waiting for End of Day
5322
Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Co-worker
5323
Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Co-worker While Coworker
is Not Present
5393
Covering for Incompetence of Co-worker Friend
5400
Trying to Explain Concept to Co-worker Who is Not Interested
in Learning
5401
Trying to Explain Concept to Co-worker Who is Stupid
5402
Trying to Explain Concept to Co-worker Who Hates You
5481
Buying Snack
5482
Eating Snack
5500
Filling Out Timesheet
5501
Inventing Timesheet Entries
5502
Waiting for Something to Happen
5503
Scratching Yourself
5504
Sleeping
5510
Feeling Bored
5511
Feeling Horny
5600
Bitching About Lousy Job
5601
Bitching About Low Pay
5602
Bitching About Long Hours
5603
Bitching About Coworker (See Codes #5322 & #5323)
5604
Bitching About Boss
5605
Bitching About Personal Problems
5640
Miscellaneous Unproductive Bitching
5701
Not Actually Present At Job
5702
Suffering From Eight-Hour Flu
6102
Ordering Out
6103
Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
6104
Taking It Easy While Digesting Food
6200
Using Company Resources for Personal Profit
6201
Stealing Company Goods
6202
Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying Company Goods
6203
Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls
6204
Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls in
Order to Sell Stolen Company Goods
6206
Gossip
6207
Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)
6210
Feeling Sorry For Yourself
6221
Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching
6222
Pretending to Enjoy Your Job
6223
Pretending You Like Co-worker
6224
Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They
are Jerks
6238
Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing
6350
Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl
6601
Running your own Business on Company Time (See Code #6603)
6602
Complaining
6603
Writing a Book on Company Time
6611
Staring Into Space
6612
Staring At Computer Screen
6615
Transcendental Meditation
7281
Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)
7400
Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone
7401
Talking With Plumber on Phone
7402
Talking With Dentist on Phone
7403
Talking With Doctor on Phone
7404
Talking With Masseuse on Phone
7405
Talking With House Painter on Phone
7406
Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone
7419
Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone
7425
Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone
7931
Asking Co-worker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity
7988
Recreational Drug Use
8000
Forwarding stupid Internet jokes to your friends
If you liked this misc joke,
send this misc joke to a friend.
More Misc Jokes???
Click the misc jokes on the right.
|
