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Misc Joke
Alchohol warnings
Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers
have accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that the
following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer
containers:
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing
like an idiot.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the
same boring story over and over again until your friends want
to smash your head in.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings
like thish.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
your friends are really dying for you to telephone them at
4 in the morning.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what
happened to your trousers.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
logically converse with other members of the opposite sex
without spitting.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have
mystical Kung Fu powers.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over
in the morning and see something really scary (whose name
and/or species you can't remember).
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable
rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that
you are tougher, more attractive, and smarter than some really,
really big guy named Franz.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you
are invisible.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people
are laughing with you.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause a flux in the time-space
continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time
may seem to literally disappear.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.
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