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Lawyer Joke
The bronze statues
A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's
Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers
a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture
is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks
the shop owner what it costs.
"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop
owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind
it."
"You can keep the story, old man," he replies,
"but I'll take the rat."
The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with
the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in
front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain
and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his
shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes
another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By
the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are
at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks
even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of
rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned
cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees
the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts
to run full tilt.
No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously,
now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he
comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve
city blocks long is behind him. Making a mighty leap, he jumps
up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls
the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far
as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the
light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of
rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown.
Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique
shop.
"Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story,"
says the owner.
"No," says the tourist, "I was wondering if
you have a bronze lawyer."
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