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Cop Joke
Cop Lines
"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case
you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet
fired from my gun."
"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess
that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you
not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
"The answer to this last question will determine whether
you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place
where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step
in monkey poop."
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife
gets a toaster oven."
"Just how big were those two beers?"
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have
quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as
we want."
"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal
friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your
bail."
"In God we trust, all others are suspects."
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