home > jokes
> bar
jokes > the official drinking test
Bar Joke
The official drinking test
This simple five question test will help determine how drunk
you really are. Begin by answering each of the five questions
below truthfully. Then determine your score based on question
answer values provided. Lastly, compare your score to the
results for a final answer.
1. Think about your wife. In your mind, is she: (a) the most
beautiful woman alive; (b) a beautiful woman; (c) attractive;
(d) ugly as sin.
2. Think about your job. In your mind, is it: (a) the best
job on the planet; (b) a good job; (c) a decent job; (d) the
most annoying job ever.
3. Try walking. What happened? Did you: (a) find it impossible
to stand up; (b) fall after standing up; (c) walk fifty feet
before falling flat on your face; (d) walk one thousand feet
without falling.
4. How did you get to the bar? I got here in: (a) my brand
new chauffer-driven limo; (b) a brand new car; (c) a used
car; (d) a rented, rusted, and damaged 1950 japanese import.
5. What do you think of your strength? I am: (a) invincible;
(b) stronger than anyone in the bar; (c) as strong as the
average man; (d) a weak and pathetic being.
Question answer values
For every question answered with an A, add ten points.
For every question answered with a B, add five points.
For every question answered with a C, do not change the score.
For every question answered with a D, subtract five points.
For every question answered with an E, add one hundred points.
Results
For scores ranging from fifty to 135, congratulations. You're
over and above the normal drunk. Generally, at least they
are able to select a valid option. An e option does not even
exist on this test. You should probably check yourself into
a hospital for alcohol poisoning.
For scores ranging from thirty-five to fifty, you had ten
too many beers. If you plan on driving home, make out a will
first--that is, if you can even remember your own name. Lastly,
don't even think about standing up.
For scores ranging from fifteen to thirty-five, you have
had one too many beers. Don't drive unless you want a higher
insurance rate. Standing up will probably result in injury.
For scores ranging from zero to fifteen, you may want to
stop drinking now. You have probably had enough beers but
don't drive unless you want a ticket. If you choose to ignore
the tip to stop drinking, it is not a problem; you probably
still have the ability to stand up.
For scores ranging from negative twenty-five to zero, you
must just be getting started! I bet you don't even have one
beer in you. In terms of driving, you are probably just getting
out of the car and are walking to the bar this very moment.
*This doucment was written by the employees at Glowport.
If you liked this bar joke,
send this bar joke to a friend.
More Bar Jokes???
Click the bar jokes on the right.
|
